So, it’s all over the news and the TV and, so I have been told, all over the internet. If the clamouring throngs of net denizens is anything to go by, Steve Jobs really dropped the ball on this one.
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Sick of the iPad yet?
January 29th, 2010Im not very good at skee ball.
January 28th, 2010
Waiting for trains is boring.
So boring, in fact, that, coupled with my innate Gen X/Y/whatever fear of sitting silently doing nothing, I start to go slowly mad waiting as little as 5 minutes without something to occupy my shallow, fleeting thoughts.
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Ugh.
January 23rd, 2010Ugh der ugh ugh blergh bah bah blugh de urgh.
Ugh ugh?
Blergh.
Blergh?!?!
Ugh.
Detox: day 3
January 21st, 2010
End of day 3.
Three days.
Three whole days of eating nothing but fucking fruit and chain smoking ciggies. And some dude at work brings a BBQed chicken in for lunch!
Fuck this shit. Going for a burger.
Peace out.
Coffee.
January 20th, 2010
Over the years, I have parted ways with many things – friends, family, girlfriends, cigarettes, junk food – but for as long as I can remember, coffee has been the one constant in my life.
It’s funny how, as I am in this crazy fucking detox thing, I was quite happy to give up things I would never thought I would give up, even for a few days – bread, for instance. Bread is awesome. It’s doughy, (sometimes) white, and lets face it, EVERYTHING is better in sandwich form.
But no, quite happy to leave off the bread (pun intended).
Detox: day 2
January 20th, 2010
Hmm. This could be harder than I thought.
HEAPS hungry – who knew I ate so much during a day? At least I have coffee.
Hmmm, maybe a coffee blog post would distract me. Stay tuned.
Detox: day 1
January 19th, 2010
So. One whole day of detox. I feel kinda lighter, more refreshed. A bit hungry, but not unbearable. Not going to the gym, mainly because I have started smoking like a chimney for some reason.
Oh well, I’ll try to lay off them tomorrow.
Detox: the plan
January 18th, 2010
So yeah, I’m basically 30, and things aren’t exactly in tip top shape. To be honest, I’m surprised that my liver and other essential organs aren’t shriveled up into little black nodules, held together with a mass of dried capillaries and congealed lumps of cholesterol. So I hear about this fruit detox diet from somebody, and I figure, why the fuck not. I’ve stacked on a few kilos after getting into a heated argument with the pavement coming off a motorbike at stupid speeds, and this might give me a little boost. My organs could probably use a bit of a shine, or, at least a small breather. After all, I’m not technically dead yet, I might need em some day, so I’d better do something nice for them every once and a while.
So, here’s the plan – eat fruit – a fuckton of it, and ONLY fruit, for a week. Then I can get back to killing myself with pizza and beer.
Welp, here goes.
Stallone reads Santa’s mail
January 8th, 2010
In the 80s, film directors knew how to make a good movie – grab some guy that can bench press a small utility vehicle, give him a enough guns and explosives to outfit an army, throw a whole heap of vaguely foreign looking people at him, and watch the blood fly. Add in some tits, maybe some ninjas, and a super bad ass villain, and you have a blockbuster hit on your hands.
All was right with the world.
Tom Selleck has a high voice
December 28th, 2009
The late afternoon sun drenches the surface of the water to the sound of waves crashing against the pristine surf. Tropical birds trill out a complex harmony, almost as a counterpoint to the steady, gentle splashes made by a young Hawaiian woman, as she idly swims through the surf. Suddenly, a long, well proportioned form surges out of the surf next to her. The column of spray reveals a giant of a man, over two metres tall, with a great mane of shaggy brown curls and the most ridiculous pair of tight, blue shorts seen this side of Boogie Nights.