There is something that most people don’t know about me. Just like Wayne Swan, there is a deep dark secret lurking inside me that if it ever got out, chaos would reign.
I am a paragon of cooking. I am like fucking Yoda with a spatula, I am the Mr Myagi of mixing.
I am the culinary equivalent of Ron Jeremy with a cock-mounted laser.
But one dish remains my Achilles heel, my Nemesis, the Team Rocket to my Ash Catchem – the Omelette.