Acid9.net

Waiting for trains is boring.

So boring, in fact, that, coupled with my innate Gen X/Y/whatever fear of sitting silently doing nothing, I start to go slowly mad waiting as little as 5 minutes without something to occupy my shallow, fleeting thoughts.

Enter the iPhone. One of the reasons, I ken, that the iPhone is such a successful product today, is that they know that today’s Multitasking, game-playing, butane-abusing, energy drink-quaffing, rave generation rejects such as myself have a technological literacy level as high as our disposable income, and the patience of a 12-year-old hyped up on jellybeans in a Toys R Us store.

This makes us the target demographic for Apple’s Jesusphone and it’s slew of casual timewasters, each with the relative complexity and depth as the puddle of water on your bathroom tiles after you have had a shower, and just as lukewarm and tepid.

Which is where Skee Ball comes in. One day, in between waiting for a train and being distracted by a shiny thing in the corner of the platform, the interminable wait drove me to download it.

And man, let me tell you – Skee Ball is whole minutes of fun!

Sometimes, not even that

Everything was going along great – there are many different ways to flick the ball, there are festive little bleeps that let you know that you aren’t quite the loser at life you thought you were, and the ever-dangled lure of a ticket reward system, and a store to spend the tickets in, ensures that you will be coming back for a second, and even third try.

It was during this little excursion to the store that suddenly, my very own Holy Grail of Skee Ball appeared to me – the Yellow Smiley Ball.

A man possessed, I feverishly pound away at the app; avariciously hoarding tickets like some sort of Skee Ball Scrooge McDuck. Finally, with what seemed to me to be an avalanche of points and tickets later, my prize – the Yellow Smiley Skee Ball, was mine.

After a few self-congratulatory games, I largely lost interest. My prize achieved, the post- Skee Ball depression kicked in, tempered somewhat by the fact that I only spent like a dollar on it, and hey, I more than got my money’s worth.

My high score. So Proud!!

Then my roommates got in to the act. At first, I could wave my smiley ball and “epic” high score around, like some sort of Methuselah to their inquisitive nublet little skulls. However, just like when your grandparents challenge you to a game of Guitar Hero, they fast outstripped me, making a mockery of my hard won tickets and laughable high score. Thoroughly beaten, I retreated with my tail between my legs, and left them to swap stories of the Olympian heights they have taken their game, all the while sniggering behind their phones at how pathetic my efforts were.

Their scores

Oh well, fuck that. I got my copy of Mass Effect 2 today, I’d be surprised if I ever think of Skee Ball again.

EDIT: To add further insult to injury, when moving the above pics of our high scores to my email address, mine was filtered as junk, while the others weren’t.

Everyone’s a critic these days.

Tags: iphone, skee ball