Posts Tagged ‘ gub’ment ’

The World is too Small

Saturday, September 12th, 2009

A friend of mine returned from holidays recently, from Asia. The usual small talk ensued – how was your trip, what did you do, where did you stay, etc. While there were some amusing anecdotes, the banality of the excursion struck me as rather at odds with what you would expect a decendant of the great European societies that produced such radical free thinkers and explorers as Galileo, Marco Polo, Leif Ericson.

Whatever happened to the “Mysteries of the Orient”? The magic and excitement of visiting a foreign culture, immersing yourself in social customs so alien that your mind and senses are alive and alert, in case you commit some unintended faux pas, and bring dishonour, shame, or even punishment upon you and yours?
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I apologise!!

Friday, August 14th, 2009

I think I owe the people of the great nation of China an apology. It appears comparing their relatively free nation to ours was a bit out of line in my “What is going on with Australia?!” post.

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What is going on with Australia??

Thursday, August 13th, 2009

I hardly call myself some sort of V for Vendetta-like reactionary (as much as I think the “wearing a mask while blowing up parliament schtick” is pretty cool), but this is truly, utterly getting beyond the joke.

I have just received an email from your local left wing activist group proclaiming that the Emission Trading Scheme has just failed in the senate.

What the gibbering fuck is wrong with these people!?! If you have people like ME agreeing with lefties, then you have a problem.

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When Reality and Fiction Collide

Tuesday, June 16th, 2009

crackhead

As those of you coming down off a 3-week long crack binge can attest, there is a big difference between reality and fiction.

And not just for us crackheads – you might be surprised that this phenomenon effects regular, ordinary people as well. TV and movies have led us all to believe that our number (as a species) is up, and it is only a matter of time before we all bite the big one in one of several ways.

Unfortunately, you can’t believe everything you see on TV.
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Helping Our Economy #3

Friday, May 22nd, 2009

The Global Financial Crisis, or GFC, is much like KFC without the “K” – It doesn’t originate from a specific location, and it doesn’t have a particularly good mascot.

Up until now, the solutions posed by this blog have been small, token, not relevant on a global scale. It is much like walking into a KFC and ordering a Nacho Cheese wrap. Sure, they look good on TV, and for $1.95 they should be a steal, but by the time you actually get around to purchasing one and pull it out of the wrapper, you wonder why you bothered. It might look like food, but after consuming the measly two pieces of popcorn chicken with a smattering of sugary sauce, wrapped in a small, stale tortilla, you realise that you should have put that $1.95 towards getting a decent meal somewhere else.

Like Maccas. You can almost get a cheeseburger for that much.

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Helping our Economy #2

Thursday, May 7th, 2009

Yesterday, we suggested a way we could stimulate the economy by legalising burnouts in our suburbs. While this would be a good start, we feel that we can add more value by incorporating some vertical integration up in this bitch*.

Not Shown - Vertical Integration

Not Shown - Vertical Integration

Since the majority of burnouts are done within the car parks of fast food chains, there is tremendous potential for growth within the retail space.#

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Helping Our Economy #1

Wednesday, May 6th, 2009
It's Never too Early to do your Part

Nothing quite gets you out of bed in the morning more than a black coffee and a cigarette. Luckily for Chinese government officials in Hubei Province, the government has ordered them all to “smoke up” to stimulate the economy by increasing tax revenue.

They will be fined if they fail to meet specified targets, or are caught smoking rival brands.

I for one support this move. It is pretty obvious by now that the existing mechanisms to stimulate the economy aren’t working – the Reserve Bank lowers interest rates, the commerical banks don’t pass them on. The government gives everyone a handout, people use it to pay off their credit cards, and so on.

It has got me thinking about ways we can stimulate the local economy back home, without resorting to smoking Chinese cigarettes.

You know, because smoking is bad and all.

And the Chinese brands taste like ass.

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